Wednesday of Great Week

"Behold the Bridegroom comes in the middle of the night; and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching. But unworthy is he whom He shall find asleep. " (From Matins).

Great and Holy week is finally upon us! We have reached the last, but most intense, portion of our marathon. This is what we have trained for all of Lent! We now enter into the life, suffering, death and (SPOILER ALERT) Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

On Palm,or Flowery Sunday, as it is known in many Eastern Churches, Fr. Tom said in his homily that this journey "is not our history it is our REALITY!". I couldn't agree with him more. St. Paul said in his letter to the Romans "Are you not aware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?... If we have been united with him through likeness to his death, so shall we be through a like resurrection" (Rom. 6: 3-11).

In the Eastern Churches another name for Great and Holy Week is "The Week of the Bridegroom". Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is his Bride. On Great Friday Christ will bestow upon us the most profound gift of his love, he will lay down his life for us. That is why Monday-Thursday of this week we celebrate a morning prayer service called Bridegroom Matins. As I quoted above, we sing 'Behold the Bridegroom comes in the night and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching!". This comes from the parable of the ten virgins in the Gospel of Matthew. Five of the virgins were wise and had enough oil to light their lamps when the bridegroom came, but the five foolish virgins did not. When the bridegroom (Christ) came they had to go out of the home and buy oil late at night in order to light their lamps and when the bridegroom came he said to them " 'Truly I say to you, I do not know you'. Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour" (Mt. 25: 12-13).

On Holy Wednesday the theme is our very human need for forgiveness and healing. This healing can be found when we enter into a relationship with God through his Son, Jesus Christ. In an great description of Holy Week from the website lent.goarch.org it says this about Holy Wednesday and the service on Wednesday evening: The the Sacrament of Holy Unction, the faithful are anointed and thus, healed both physically and spiritually. They are also reconciled to God and one another so that they might receive the gift of the Holy Eucharist instituted by Christ at the Last Supper."

On Wednesday afternoon I will be traveling home to attend Holy Week services at my parish. I'm fortunate to attend a parish that really goes all out. Anointing Service on Wednesday Night, Bridegroom Matins on Thursday Morning, Divine Liturgy on Thursday night, weekend long retreat, Twelve Gospels Friday Morning, Royal Hours Friday Afternoon, Vespers Friday Night, Guarding the Grace, Jerusalem Matins on Saturday morning, Vespers with Divine Liturgy Saturday night, and Matins and Liturgy Sunday morning. If you are scratching you head saying "huh?!", don't worry, I will gradually be explaining all of this through posts and pictures. I'm not sure how much internet access I will have while at church (I don't think we have managed to get wireless internet yet) but just be patient and it will eventually show up!

Thursday of the Fourth Week of Lent

Do you ever stop to recognize the small joys that happen in our lives on a day to day basis? Today was not an extraordinary day for me, but it was all of the little things that added up to it being a good day. I found cheap books at a book sale, was able to eat lunch and catch up with a friend, was told I was doing good work at my job, and was able to go shopping at one of my favorite little places: the dollar store.

I was never a fan of the dollar store, until I came to college and became a resident adviser. I never knew that it had so many cute and CHEAP decorations. They are just perfect for a dorm room and a dorm bathroom shared by many girls. On this particular trip tonight, my friend and I decided to browse through the entire store. I remembered that I needed some more votive candle that I'm not supposed to light on my prayer corner. That led to me wondering if they had any cute placemats. I use placemats on my prayer corner table because they are often cheap and are the perfect size. I wanted a gold one and a white one, but my expectations weren't high, I mean, this is the dollar store we are talking about, right? Well I got to the aisle and began thumbing through they collection. I actually found exactly what I was looking for. A satiny white one and a lovely gold one. To make matters better, the white one (which I will put on for the Paschal season) was only .25 cents!

Just as I thought my shopping trip could not get any better we went down the arts and craft aisle. I've been looking at Hobby Lobby and Michael's (two local craft shops) for a plain wooden cross that I can decorate and paint to put in my prayer corner with no luck whatsoever. Once again, I found exactly want I wanted! I couldn't believe it! I brought it home and painted the cross you see above on it. It took about two hours of work altogether, but it was worth it! I can't wait to get it blessed.

I don't mean for this to be a pointless post filled with me gushing about how cool my day was or how I am a great shopper. I am just trying to encourage everyone to look for the little joys in life. Not only the little joys you find in your own life, but the ones you can provide in another's life. I can't think of how many times my bad day has gotten better because a friend stopped to say "hello" or even just smiled at me. Mother Teresa once said "Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."

I also found a little joy in one of today's readings from Proverbs 13:19-14:6. In this passage we find the famous line "he who spares the rod hates his child." Don't worry, I'm not some sort of violent person who waits for the day when she can use this quote against her future children. This quote brings back memories of a beloved teacher I had throughout my junior high years at St Patrick's School in Joliet. Mr. Paul would always bring this quote up as a sort of joke. I'm sad to say that he passed away a few years ago, but it's memories like this that remind me that we carry those we've lost in our hearts.

Before I close out my post, I want to inform everyone of a great event that is happening next week at my parish of Annunciation of the Mother of God Byzantine Catholic Church in Homer Glen, Illinois. On Thursday March 18th at 7pm we will be celebrating the service of the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. This is a lovely (albeit long!) penitential service and it will likely last upwards of three hours. We are encouraging people to come for any part of it. You don't have to stay the whole time, but we would love to have people come and experience what it is like. Confessions will also be heard throughout the service. For more information, please visit www.byzantinecatholic.com

Wednesday of the Fourth Week of the Fast

I'd like to start this post with an apology. I know it has been too long since I last posted, and I'm sorry for that. Midterm season is upon us here at the University of Illinois and I fear I have fallen victim to it. If I wasn't studying for an exam or writing a paper, I was relaxing because I had just finished up an exam or paper. Sometimes, in the mix of everything going on, it can be difficult for people to find a peaceful moment in which to pray.

I don't mean to say that I'm just too busy to pray, that is not the case at all. At times, however it can be difficult to get into the routine of praying regularly. I have been listening to Frederica Mathewes-Green and I feel like she has some really great insights to offer us (you can find her podcast on iTunes for free!). When she talks about the Jesus Prayer- one of the most ancient prayers in the church- she advises her listeners to work it in to something you already do. Pray when we are going to sleep, try to concentrate and pray when you are doing mundane tasks. Sometimes when I am walking to class I put my headphones and play a version of the Jesus Prayer that my local choir recorded a few years back over and over again.

Creating a set prayer time is also a good way to get into the habit of praying. Lately, as I think I mentioned a few posts back, I have been praying my little daily Lenten prayer book each night before I go to bed.

What happens when the unexpected happens? What if you fall asleep while reading and miss prayer time. What if you have guests staying over and you miss prayer time. To me, the important thing is to not get discouraged if we miss our prayer time. Many people allow this gap to form between themselves and God. It goes something like this: I forgot to pray/go to church, God is angry with me and so I can't pray/go to church right now, etc. We need to try our best to get right back into our routine. If we accidentally miss our morning prayer time but think about it in the afternoon, then we should say a short prayer the moment we think about it. God will never be angry with us for praying to him with earnest hearts.

I also think it can be helpful to have a prayer buddy. Many times, we won't miss or skip out on something if we know that someone else is counting on us. Prayer buddies can help each other stay on schedule.

Now that we are in the middle of the Fourth Week of the Great Fast, we are about halfway through. This is the point of the race when we really start to feel the burn. It seems like those things we gave up are lurking around every corner. If I see one more commercial for Red Robin Restaurants featuring a juicy burger, I might just flip out. This is the time when it is easy for us to get relaxed, but we must not let down our guard! There is a line in Mathewes-Green's book Facing East where she quotes the Lenten Triodion and says 'At all times it is essential to remember that "you are not under the law but under grace" (Rom. 6:14).'

I am a firm believer in the wisdom of the Church and I see it working even now. The church knows that this is the time of the Fast that really starts to get at people and so next week it places before us one of the most beautiful penitential services: The Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. This is a service filled with hundreds of prostrations, recounting almost the entire Old Testament. Also during this service we read the life of St. Mary of Egypt. I've learned over the past few years that there is nothing like an awesome case of floorburn to reinvigorate my Lenten Season!

Yesterday we celebrated the feast of the Forty Martyrs of Sebaste. Here is their story (according to Wikipedia): According to St. Basil, forty soldiers who had openly confessed themselves Christians were condemned by the prefect to be exposed naked upon a frozen pond near Sebaste on a bitterly cold night, that they might freeze to death. Among the confessors, one yielded and, leaving his companions, sought the warm baths near the lake which had been prepared for any who might prove inconstant. One of the guards set to keep watch over the martyrs beheld at this moment a supernatural brilliancy overshadowing them and at once proclaimed himself a Christian, threw off his garments, and placed himself beside the thirty-nine soldiers of Christ. Thus the number of forty remained complete. At daybreak, the stiffened bodies of the confessors, which still showed signs of life, were burned and the ashes cast into a river. The Christians, however, collected the precious remains, and the relics were distributed throughout many cities; in this way the veneration paid to the Forty Martyrs became widespread, and numerous churches were erected in their honour.

Wednesday/ Thursday of the Second Week of Lent

February 24th- The Finding of the Head of St. John the Baptist

On Wednesday we celebrated the feast of the finding of the head of St. John the Baptist. Eastern tradition holds that the head of St. John the Baptist was not buried with his body, but was thrown into a dung heap. St. Johanna, who was married to one of the king's stewards found it and buried it at the Mount of Olives where it remained for many years. When the land passed to a man who became a man named Innocent, who became a monk, he found the head of the Forerunner. Since he feared that the head would be abused by unbelievers he his it and it became lost...again. During the reign of Constantine the head of John the Baptist was found again.

In the tropar (hymn of the day) for this feast we sign: "The head of the Forerunner arose from the earth like a light, sending out rays of healing and immortality. In heaven, it gather together to choirs of angels, while on earth it assembles the human race in a single voice to sing the glory of Christ God."

In case you were wondering, there is also a feast of the Third finding of the head of St. John the Baptist which is celebrated in May. It might be hard to grasp how such a precious relic could be misplaced so many times. As I mentioned above, it was not necessarily out of neglect, but out of necessity. Times were tough back then, it wasn't always safe to be a Christian and so the early Christians needed to keep their relics safe, and in doing so, sometimes they became lost.

On Wednesday and Thursday we have readings once again from Isaiah, Genesis and Proverbs. In Isaiah 5:16-25 we are given a warning "Woe to those who are wise in their own sight, and prudent in their own esteem." Sometimes, during Lent it is very easy to get arrogant about our fasting rituals. We may feel superior because we feel as if we are making a greater sacrifice. This, of course, is not the proper attitude we should be fostering. Christ himself tells us that we should not even let people know that we are fasting, so how can we judge another? Fasting isn't about being better than another person, but about making ourselves better people so that we may be worthy to join in the Resurrection of Christ. In Isaiah 6:1-12 we have the familiar line in verse eight when the Lord says " 'Whom shall I send? Who will go for me?' 'Here I am,' I said. 'send me!'".

When I was in grade school at St. Patrick's in Joliet we often sang a song called "Here I Am Lord." It was one of my favorite songs and it was based on this passage. Part of it goes "...Whom shall I send? Here I am Lord, is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord, if you need me. I will hold your people in my heart." It is easy for us to think "the Lord has never come to me in a dream and asked me to do something, in fact, I never hear him talk to me that much at all. He must not need me for anything." Just because we don't necessarily get a text message or voicemail from God doesn't mean he isn't talking to us. Sometimes it can come in the form of a friend who needs help. Do we say "here I am, what can I help you with?" or do we say "I'm too busy." It can also come at a time when our faith is being mocked. It is easy to not say anything because we are worried about looking foolish. That is exactly the time we need to say "Here I am" and to stand up for our faith. In the East we have a title called "Fool for Christ". A Fool for Christ might seem crazy in the eyes of men. They often live an ascetic life, say shocking things and are very holy. They are usually outcasts in society but they are righteous in the eyes of the Lord.

Sometimes we may not know how to speak about our faith or write about our faith but we must always be certain that God will guide us. I would like to leave with a quote from Mother Teresa to be pondered on. "We are all pencils in the hand of God. "

First Sunday of Lent- Sunday of Orthodoxy

Growing up Byzantine Catholic means that you grow up with icons in your life. I have about 8 in my dorm room right now. I can't imagine not being able to venerate an icon when I go into a church. I also can't imagine someone trying to come into my room, taking my icons and burning them, but that is something that happened in the 8th Century. The period was known as the period of the Iconoclasts. Soldiers would go into churches and whitewash all of the icons in them because they believed they were idolatrous. This was finally resolved during the Second Council of Nicaea in 787. I'll never forget the year my priest decided to demonstrate how shocking Iconoclasm was. It was the first Sunday of Lent, probably 8 years ago. During his homily he had a paintbrush and paint can and went up to an icon of an angel which he himself had painted on the wall of our church and began to paint over it. Gasps were heard throughout the church. How on earth could he do that? Sensing our shock, Fr. Tom removed the tin film of clear plastic that covered the icon, but his point was well taken. What must it have been like for those Christians in places like Constantinople to see their beautiful churches whitewashed?

When I was younger we celebrated this Sunday of Holy Images (as it is sometimes called) by creating our own icons. In our Eastern Christian Formation classes we would take a piece of stained wood, pick out an icon that had graced the cover of our church bulletin over the past year and decopage it onto the wood. Then, during the beginning of the liturgy we would process around the church with them. Just recently I found an icon of the Crucifixion which I had made some 12 years ago!

One of my favorite things to do during Lent is to pray the prayers in a little prayer book I have called "Great Lent and Great and Holy Week With Blessed Theodore Romzha". It has prayers in it for each day of the week and then a special hymn for each of the weeks of the Fast. The prayer book was published three years ago in commemoration of the 60th anniversary of the martyrdom of Blessed Theodore Romzha. Blessed Theodore was a Byzantine Catholic bishop in present day Ukraine and he was martyred by the Communists for defending his catholic faith and refusing to convert to Orthodoxy. One of his most famous quotes was "To die for Christ means to live forever". I think it is important to place figures before us who have undergone the ultimate sacrifice for their Faith in order to strengthen my own faith. A great good to read about those who suffered under the oppression of Communism is called "Finding a Hidden Church" by Christopher Zugger.

One of the prayers we pray often during Lent is the prayer of St. Ephraim. We pray it every day whether that is in the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy or our private devotions. It is a wonderful prayers because it encapsulates the true spirit of the fast. It was written by St. Ephraim the Syrian who lived in the 4th Century. The prayer is as follows:

"O Lord and Master of my life,
spare me from the spirit of apathy and meddling,
of idle chatter and love of power.
(make a prostration)

Instead grant to me, Your servant,
the spirit of integrity, and humility,
of patience and love.
(make prostration)

Yes, O Lord and God,
grant me the grace to be aware of my sins
and not to judge others, for You are blessed,
now and ever and forever. Amen
(make prostration)"

Forgivenss Vespers/ Clean Monday/ First Tuesday of Lent

For the past few years, I have been greeted by the Great Fast by the same thing, a massive caffeine headache. Actually, this year it wasn't as bad as it has been before. I remember my sophomore year of college; I must have been completely addicted to pop because I was curled up in a ball on my bed with such a bad headache. This year, it just started bothering me later in the evening. I must be making progress!

The first day of the Great Fast is known as Clean Monday. We refer to this as "Clean Monday" because it refers to the spiritual cleansing that we will go through during the course of the Fast. Clean Monday began on Sunday night with Forgiveness Vespers. Part way through the vespers service the altar cloths and clergy vestments are changed from gold to dark red for Lent. The melody used for the litanies and psalms also changes to a more solemn one. At the end of the service everyone processes up to the priest (in my case Fr. Thomas Loya) and we say "Father forgive me a sinner" and he replies "May God forgive you" while we embrace and kiss each other three times. Then we form a line and everyone asks forgiveness of everyone before Lent begins.

To be honest, I always feel so awkward coming up to this part. Do I really have to hug all of these people? I'm pretty sure that when I cursed in the car the other day I didn't do it to that lady that sits across from me. So why do I have to ask for her forgiveness? We do this so that we may begin the Fast peacefully. At our parish of Annunciation of the Mother of God in Homer Glen, Illinois, the process always ends up being heartfelt but a little fun at the same time. We are a pretty close knit group and almost everyone knows one another.

I was blessed to be able to be home for the beginning of the Fast because I had a doctor's appointment on Monday. On Christmas Eve (of all days!) I was in a car accident and broke my foot. My Christmas break from school was filled with Dr.'s visits, surgery to put a plate in my foot and me, hobbling around on crutches. But I am blessed. My experience has taught me a great deal of humility. I am a pretty independent person, I don't enjoy asking people for help, but this was a time when I needed help and I had to learn to ask for it. It was also humbling for me because it truly showed me that we run on God's schedule and not the other way around. I had so many plans for my break. The accident really made me slow down, think about things and it also made me very excited to return to school. Today I was given the OK from my doctor to kick off my boot and drive my car again, so back to school I went.

Last Friday, I decided that my dorm room was lacking an Icon/Prayer Corner. I have about six Icons or so and I just have them propped up on my desk. I'm fortunate enough to live in a Catholic dorm and we have access to a chapel 24/7, but sometimes, I'm sad to say, it just takes a lot of energy to walk down there at 2am. I also feel a little strange sitting there in this rather large chapel. To me, Eastern Prayers are extremely intimate and I feel most comfortable saying them aloud in an intimate setting, hence the prayer table in my room. I'm quite proud of my little set up. I went to Target and picked up a TV tray ($8.99), a red place mat ($2.89 on sale!) and some "flameless" candles because we aren't allowed to have real candles in the dorm. I set up my icons and my prayer book and voila! instant prayer corner. I've gotten many compliments on it and I have been wondering why it took me 4 years to have one in my room. The picture at the beginning of my post is my prayer/icon table.

The readings for Tuesday are from Isaiah 1:19-2:3, Genesis 1:14-23, and Proverbs 1:20-33. We start with the very beginning of Genesis and work our way through the book during the Fast. In Isaiah we read the lines "Come, let us climb the Lord's mountain, to the house of the God of Jacob, That he may instruct us in his ways, and we may walk in his paths." I really enjoy this line because I think it related particularly well to the Fast. It reminds us all that Lent is a journey.

Wednesday/Thursday of Cheese-fare Week

Since I am writing this so late on Wednesday night, I have decided that it will be a dual post for Wednesday and Thursday. Eastern Christians are now in the midst of Cheese-fare week. This year, both Eastern Orthodox and Catholics are on the same calendar. To anyone who is not Eastern, it must seem like we are obsessed with food. Meat-fare, Cheese-fare, what is up with that? Since last Sunday we are supposed to abstain from eating meat products. This week is the last week we may enjoy dairy products (cheese, milk, butter, eggs, etc.) and so it is called Cheese-Fare. In Russian it is called Maslenitsa. The picture above is a painting by Boris Kustodiev depicting what Maslenitsa looked like circa 1919. It is our last chance to party and have some of the rich foods which we won't be enjoying for awhile.

This is really the first year I am attempting to live out the Fast to the fullest. I haven't had any meat this week. It hasn't been too tough yet, but I know that it is still early. I'm in the "wow this is new and exciting stage and I am going to do my best!" I also live at a dorm that does a reasonably good job with providing vegetarian options to students. I will also admit that it is easier to be meat free when I am only worrying about myself. Back at home, my parents usually don't stick to the strictest form of the fast. They partake of meat and dairy products on days except Wednesday and Friday (which is acceptable). I find when I'm at home that I don't want to impose on my parents. If my mom makes something with meat, I'll usually eat it, just not as much of it. Back to the veggie, options at school... Yesterday we were given the choice of veggie chicken nuggets and today we were given the choice of veggie burgers. I discovered something just a tad "dangerous". I love veggie chicken nuggets. I think I could eat them every day of Lent and it wouldn't bother me. That is the problem. Even though I'm not eating meat, it still doesn't seem like a sacrifice. Veggie burgers on the other hand, are a different story for me. I can't stand them. They were most definitely less than appetizing to me. This felt like a sacrifice.

Our readings for Wednesday come from the book of Joel (Joel 2:12-26). The zinger is at the very beginning "Yet even now, says the LORD, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping and mourning." If this doesn't scream Lenten foreshadowing, I don't know what does. Many of the readings this week are designed to prepare us for the journey of the Fast which lies ahead. The Fast is a lot like running a marathon. You really need to be disciplined in order to pace yourself. Many people (myself included) are often very exuberant when the Fast begins, but get burnt out in the middle and limp weakly to the finish. We even pray during the beautiful presanctified liturgy to "fight the good fight, and finished the course of the Fast."

It is also evident that Lent is coming in the readings for Thursday (Jude: 11-25 and Luke 23:2-34; 44-56). The gospel reading is the trial and crucifixion of Christ. What struck me upon reading this today was how many times Luke mentions "the Women" who followed Christ. Many people who know me know of my great devotion to these women who, being the first witnesses to the resurrection of Christ became the heralds of good news, the "apostles to the Apostles" (whoops, I hope I didn't ruin the Paschal surprise for anyone. Jesus wins in the end.). The women disciples were there from beginning to end. They didn't leave. They didn't chicken out. They stood by the Lord during his most trying time and they were the first to witness his resurrection. To me, the church, in its wisdom has slyly given them to us in today's reading to be our example before we begin the Fast. We need, no we must, do our best to emulate these women. We need to be constant in the fast from beginning to end. We can't chicken out because it is the easy thing to do. We should suffer for Christ, who sacrificed Himself for us, and then we will be the witnesses to his Resurrection.

One of the things I am (hopefully) going to do this Lenten Season is to enhance my mind spiritually. The Fast is a time to increase our prayer life and devotion but I also think it is wise to read "good books" in addition to the "Good book" (ie the Bible). The first book I am starting with is, actually, one I have read twice before. It is my well-thumbed through copy of Facing East by Frederica Mathewes-Green. I first found this book during my first semester of college. I was hopelessly "church-sick" as my mother put it. Being Byzantine Catholic surrounded by hundreds of Roman Catholics in your dorm and thousands of students of many different religions is not an easy thing. It was the first time I had ever been separated from my church. Because an Eastern Christian experiences the Liturgy and services with all of their five senses, it was not always enough for me to just read my prayers. I was a fish out of water.

One day while perusing the local bookstore I found this book which was subtitled "a Pilgrim's Journey Into the Mysteries of Orthodoxy". In this lovely book I found so much of what was familiar to me, the description of the services, talk of icons and incense. It really helped me be reminded of some of the traditions of my faith. Through this, I was able to share this with other people. I decided to start reading it again because it begins with descriptions of the very beginning of the Fast. I would encourage everyone (especially students) to make an attempt to read something, even if only for 15 minutes, that will not only stimulate your intellect but also you faith as well. As a student, I know how hard it can be to find time to read something that will benefit the soul between the biology, chemistry and what passes for literature nowadays. Bring a book to class and read it for just 5 minutes before class starts, listen to a faith based podcast on the bus or while you work out. Even just a few minutes can make all the difference.