Wednesday of Great Week

"Behold the Bridegroom comes in the middle of the night; and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching. But unworthy is he whom He shall find asleep. " (From Matins).

Great and Holy week is finally upon us! We have reached the last, but most intense, portion of our marathon. This is what we have trained for all of Lent! We now enter into the life, suffering, death and (SPOILER ALERT) Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

On Palm,or Flowery Sunday, as it is known in many Eastern Churches, Fr. Tom said in his homily that this journey "is not our history it is our REALITY!". I couldn't agree with him more. St. Paul said in his letter to the Romans "Are you not aware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?... If we have been united with him through likeness to his death, so shall we be through a like resurrection" (Rom. 6: 3-11).

In the Eastern Churches another name for Great and Holy Week is "The Week of the Bridegroom". Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is his Bride. On Great Friday Christ will bestow upon us the most profound gift of his love, he will lay down his life for us. That is why Monday-Thursday of this week we celebrate a morning prayer service called Bridegroom Matins. As I quoted above, we sing 'Behold the Bridegroom comes in the night and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching!". This comes from the parable of the ten virgins in the Gospel of Matthew. Five of the virgins were wise and had enough oil to light their lamps when the bridegroom came, but the five foolish virgins did not. When the bridegroom (Christ) came they had to go out of the home and buy oil late at night in order to light their lamps and when the bridegroom came he said to them " 'Truly I say to you, I do not know you'. Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour" (Mt. 25: 12-13).

On Holy Wednesday the theme is our very human need for forgiveness and healing. This healing can be found when we enter into a relationship with God through his Son, Jesus Christ. In an great description of Holy Week from the website lent.goarch.org it says this about Holy Wednesday and the service on Wednesday evening: The the Sacrament of Holy Unction, the faithful are anointed and thus, healed both physically and spiritually. They are also reconciled to God and one another so that they might receive the gift of the Holy Eucharist instituted by Christ at the Last Supper."

On Wednesday afternoon I will be traveling home to attend Holy Week services at my parish. I'm fortunate to attend a parish that really goes all out. Anointing Service on Wednesday Night, Bridegroom Matins on Thursday Morning, Divine Liturgy on Thursday night, weekend long retreat, Twelve Gospels Friday Morning, Royal Hours Friday Afternoon, Vespers Friday Night, Guarding the Grace, Jerusalem Matins on Saturday morning, Vespers with Divine Liturgy Saturday night, and Matins and Liturgy Sunday morning. If you are scratching you head saying "huh?!", don't worry, I will gradually be explaining all of this through posts and pictures. I'm not sure how much internet access I will have while at church (I don't think we have managed to get wireless internet yet) but just be patient and it will eventually show up!

Thursday of the Fourth Week of Lent

Do you ever stop to recognize the small joys that happen in our lives on a day to day basis? Today was not an extraordinary day for me, but it was all of the little things that added up to it being a good day. I found cheap books at a book sale, was able to eat lunch and catch up with a friend, was told I was doing good work at my job, and was able to go shopping at one of my favorite little places: the dollar store.

I was never a fan of the dollar store, until I came to college and became a resident adviser. I never knew that it had so many cute and CHEAP decorations. They are just perfect for a dorm room and a dorm bathroom shared by many girls. On this particular trip tonight, my friend and I decided to browse through the entire store. I remembered that I needed some more votive candle that I'm not supposed to light on my prayer corner. That led to me wondering if they had any cute placemats. I use placemats on my prayer corner table because they are often cheap and are the perfect size. I wanted a gold one and a white one, but my expectations weren't high, I mean, this is the dollar store we are talking about, right? Well I got to the aisle and began thumbing through they collection. I actually found exactly what I was looking for. A satiny white one and a lovely gold one. To make matters better, the white one (which I will put on for the Paschal season) was only .25 cents!

Just as I thought my shopping trip could not get any better we went down the arts and craft aisle. I've been looking at Hobby Lobby and Michael's (two local craft shops) for a plain wooden cross that I can decorate and paint to put in my prayer corner with no luck whatsoever. Once again, I found exactly want I wanted! I couldn't believe it! I brought it home and painted the cross you see above on it. It took about two hours of work altogether, but it was worth it! I can't wait to get it blessed.

I don't mean for this to be a pointless post filled with me gushing about how cool my day was or how I am a great shopper. I am just trying to encourage everyone to look for the little joys in life. Not only the little joys you find in your own life, but the ones you can provide in another's life. I can't think of how many times my bad day has gotten better because a friend stopped to say "hello" or even just smiled at me. Mother Teresa once said "Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."

I also found a little joy in one of today's readings from Proverbs 13:19-14:6. In this passage we find the famous line "he who spares the rod hates his child." Don't worry, I'm not some sort of violent person who waits for the day when she can use this quote against her future children. This quote brings back memories of a beloved teacher I had throughout my junior high years at St Patrick's School in Joliet. Mr. Paul would always bring this quote up as a sort of joke. I'm sad to say that he passed away a few years ago, but it's memories like this that remind me that we carry those we've lost in our hearts.

Before I close out my post, I want to inform everyone of a great event that is happening next week at my parish of Annunciation of the Mother of God Byzantine Catholic Church in Homer Glen, Illinois. On Thursday March 18th at 7pm we will be celebrating the service of the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. This is a lovely (albeit long!) penitential service and it will likely last upwards of three hours. We are encouraging people to come for any part of it. You don't have to stay the whole time, but we would love to have people come and experience what it is like. Confessions will also be heard throughout the service. For more information, please visit www.byzantinecatholic.com

Wednesday of the Fourth Week of the Fast

I'd like to start this post with an apology. I know it has been too long since I last posted, and I'm sorry for that. Midterm season is upon us here at the University of Illinois and I fear I have fallen victim to it. If I wasn't studying for an exam or writing a paper, I was relaxing because I had just finished up an exam or paper. Sometimes, in the mix of everything going on, it can be difficult for people to find a peaceful moment in which to pray.

I don't mean to say that I'm just too busy to pray, that is not the case at all. At times, however it can be difficult to get into the routine of praying regularly. I have been listening to Frederica Mathewes-Green and I feel like she has some really great insights to offer us (you can find her podcast on iTunes for free!). When she talks about the Jesus Prayer- one of the most ancient prayers in the church- she advises her listeners to work it in to something you already do. Pray when we are going to sleep, try to concentrate and pray when you are doing mundane tasks. Sometimes when I am walking to class I put my headphones and play a version of the Jesus Prayer that my local choir recorded a few years back over and over again.

Creating a set prayer time is also a good way to get into the habit of praying. Lately, as I think I mentioned a few posts back, I have been praying my little daily Lenten prayer book each night before I go to bed.

What happens when the unexpected happens? What if you fall asleep while reading and miss prayer time. What if you have guests staying over and you miss prayer time. To me, the important thing is to not get discouraged if we miss our prayer time. Many people allow this gap to form between themselves and God. It goes something like this: I forgot to pray/go to church, God is angry with me and so I can't pray/go to church right now, etc. We need to try our best to get right back into our routine. If we accidentally miss our morning prayer time but think about it in the afternoon, then we should say a short prayer the moment we think about it. God will never be angry with us for praying to him with earnest hearts.

I also think it can be helpful to have a prayer buddy. Many times, we won't miss or skip out on something if we know that someone else is counting on us. Prayer buddies can help each other stay on schedule.

Now that we are in the middle of the Fourth Week of the Great Fast, we are about halfway through. This is the point of the race when we really start to feel the burn. It seems like those things we gave up are lurking around every corner. If I see one more commercial for Red Robin Restaurants featuring a juicy burger, I might just flip out. This is the time when it is easy for us to get relaxed, but we must not let down our guard! There is a line in Mathewes-Green's book Facing East where she quotes the Lenten Triodion and says 'At all times it is essential to remember that "you are not under the law but under grace" (Rom. 6:14).'

I am a firm believer in the wisdom of the Church and I see it working even now. The church knows that this is the time of the Fast that really starts to get at people and so next week it places before us one of the most beautiful penitential services: The Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. This is a service filled with hundreds of prostrations, recounting almost the entire Old Testament. Also during this service we read the life of St. Mary of Egypt. I've learned over the past few years that there is nothing like an awesome case of floorburn to reinvigorate my Lenten Season!

Yesterday we celebrated the feast of the Forty Martyrs of Sebaste. Here is their story (according to Wikipedia): According to St. Basil, forty soldiers who had openly confessed themselves Christians were condemned by the prefect to be exposed naked upon a frozen pond near Sebaste on a bitterly cold night, that they might freeze to death. Among the confessors, one yielded and, leaving his companions, sought the warm baths near the lake which had been prepared for any who might prove inconstant. One of the guards set to keep watch over the martyrs beheld at this moment a supernatural brilliancy overshadowing them and at once proclaimed himself a Christian, threw off his garments, and placed himself beside the thirty-nine soldiers of Christ. Thus the number of forty remained complete. At daybreak, the stiffened bodies of the confessors, which still showed signs of life, were burned and the ashes cast into a river. The Christians, however, collected the precious remains, and the relics were distributed throughout many cities; in this way the veneration paid to the Forty Martyrs became widespread, and numerous churches were erected in their honour.

Wednesday/ Thursday of the Second Week of Lent

February 24th- The Finding of the Head of St. John the Baptist

On Wednesday we celebrated the feast of the finding of the head of St. John the Baptist. Eastern tradition holds that the head of St. John the Baptist was not buried with his body, but was thrown into a dung heap. St. Johanna, who was married to one of the king's stewards found it and buried it at the Mount of Olives where it remained for many years. When the land passed to a man who became a man named Innocent, who became a monk, he found the head of the Forerunner. Since he feared that the head would be abused by unbelievers he his it and it became lost...again. During the reign of Constantine the head of John the Baptist was found again.

In the tropar (hymn of the day) for this feast we sign: "The head of the Forerunner arose from the earth like a light, sending out rays of healing and immortality. In heaven, it gather together to choirs of angels, while on earth it assembles the human race in a single voice to sing the glory of Christ God."

In case you were wondering, there is also a feast of the Third finding of the head of St. John the Baptist which is celebrated in May. It might be hard to grasp how such a precious relic could be misplaced so many times. As I mentioned above, it was not necessarily out of neglect, but out of necessity. Times were tough back then, it wasn't always safe to be a Christian and so the early Christians needed to keep their relics safe, and in doing so, sometimes they became lost.

On Wednesday and Thursday we have readings once again from Isaiah, Genesis and Proverbs. In Isaiah 5:16-25 we are given a warning "Woe to those who are wise in their own sight, and prudent in their own esteem." Sometimes, during Lent it is very easy to get arrogant about our fasting rituals. We may feel superior because we feel as if we are making a greater sacrifice. This, of course, is not the proper attitude we should be fostering. Christ himself tells us that we should not even let people know that we are fasting, so how can we judge another? Fasting isn't about being better than another person, but about making ourselves better people so that we may be worthy to join in the Resurrection of Christ. In Isaiah 6:1-12 we have the familiar line in verse eight when the Lord says " 'Whom shall I send? Who will go for me?' 'Here I am,' I said. 'send me!'".

When I was in grade school at St. Patrick's in Joliet we often sang a song called "Here I Am Lord." It was one of my favorite songs and it was based on this passage. Part of it goes "...Whom shall I send? Here I am Lord, is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord, if you need me. I will hold your people in my heart." It is easy for us to think "the Lord has never come to me in a dream and asked me to do something, in fact, I never hear him talk to me that much at all. He must not need me for anything." Just because we don't necessarily get a text message or voicemail from God doesn't mean he isn't talking to us. Sometimes it can come in the form of a friend who needs help. Do we say "here I am, what can I help you with?" or do we say "I'm too busy." It can also come at a time when our faith is being mocked. It is easy to not say anything because we are worried about looking foolish. That is exactly the time we need to say "Here I am" and to stand up for our faith. In the East we have a title called "Fool for Christ". A Fool for Christ might seem crazy in the eyes of men. They often live an ascetic life, say shocking things and are very holy. They are usually outcasts in society but they are righteous in the eyes of the Lord.

Sometimes we may not know how to speak about our faith or write about our faith but we must always be certain that God will guide us. I would like to leave with a quote from Mother Teresa to be pondered on. "We are all pencils in the hand of God. "

First Sunday of Lent- Sunday of Orthodoxy

Growing up Byzantine Catholic means that you grow up with icons in your life. I have about 8 in my dorm room right now. I can't imagine not being able to venerate an icon when I go into a church. I also can't imagine someone trying to come into my room, taking my icons and burning them, but that is something that happened in the 8th Century. The period was known as the period of the Iconoclasts. Soldiers would go into churches and whitewash all of the icons in them because they believed they were idolatrous. This was finally resolved during the Second Council of Nicaea in 787. I'll never forget the year my priest decided to demonstrate how shocking Iconoclasm was. It was the first Sunday of Lent, probably 8 years ago. During his homily he had a paintbrush and paint can and went up to an icon of an angel which he himself had painted on the wall of our church and began to paint over it. Gasps were heard throughout the church. How on earth could he do that? Sensing our shock, Fr. Tom removed the tin film of clear plastic that covered the icon, but his point was well taken. What must it have been like for those Christians in places like Constantinople to see their beautiful churches whitewashed?

When I was younger we celebrated this Sunday of Holy Images (as it is sometimes called) by creating our own icons. In our Eastern Christian Formation classes we would take a piece of stained wood, pick out an icon that had graced the cover of our church bulletin over the past year and decopage it onto the wood. Then, during the beginning of the liturgy we would process around the church with them. Just recently I found an icon of the Crucifixion which I had made some 12 years ago!

One of my favorite things to do during Lent is to pray the prayers in a little prayer book I have called "Great Lent and Great and Holy Week With Blessed Theodore Romzha". It has prayers in it for each day of the week and then a special hymn for each of the weeks of the Fast. The prayer book was published three years ago in commemoration of the 60th anniversary of the martyrdom of Blessed Theodore Romzha. Blessed Theodore was a Byzantine Catholic bishop in present day Ukraine and he was martyred by the Communists for defending his catholic faith and refusing to convert to Orthodoxy. One of his most famous quotes was "To die for Christ means to live forever". I think it is important to place figures before us who have undergone the ultimate sacrifice for their Faith in order to strengthen my own faith. A great good to read about those who suffered under the oppression of Communism is called "Finding a Hidden Church" by Christopher Zugger.

One of the prayers we pray often during Lent is the prayer of St. Ephraim. We pray it every day whether that is in the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy or our private devotions. It is a wonderful prayers because it encapsulates the true spirit of the fast. It was written by St. Ephraim the Syrian who lived in the 4th Century. The prayer is as follows:

"O Lord and Master of my life,
spare me from the spirit of apathy and meddling,
of idle chatter and love of power.
(make a prostration)

Instead grant to me, Your servant,
the spirit of integrity, and humility,
of patience and love.
(make prostration)

Yes, O Lord and God,
grant me the grace to be aware of my sins
and not to judge others, for You are blessed,
now and ever and forever. Amen
(make prostration)"

Forgivenss Vespers/ Clean Monday/ First Tuesday of Lent

For the past few years, I have been greeted by the Great Fast by the same thing, a massive caffeine headache. Actually, this year it wasn't as bad as it has been before. I remember my sophomore year of college; I must have been completely addicted to pop because I was curled up in a ball on my bed with such a bad headache. This year, it just started bothering me later in the evening. I must be making progress!

The first day of the Great Fast is known as Clean Monday. We refer to this as "Clean Monday" because it refers to the spiritual cleansing that we will go through during the course of the Fast. Clean Monday began on Sunday night with Forgiveness Vespers. Part way through the vespers service the altar cloths and clergy vestments are changed from gold to dark red for Lent. The melody used for the litanies and psalms also changes to a more solemn one. At the end of the service everyone processes up to the priest (in my case Fr. Thomas Loya) and we say "Father forgive me a sinner" and he replies "May God forgive you" while we embrace and kiss each other three times. Then we form a line and everyone asks forgiveness of everyone before Lent begins.

To be honest, I always feel so awkward coming up to this part. Do I really have to hug all of these people? I'm pretty sure that when I cursed in the car the other day I didn't do it to that lady that sits across from me. So why do I have to ask for her forgiveness? We do this so that we may begin the Fast peacefully. At our parish of Annunciation of the Mother of God in Homer Glen, Illinois, the process always ends up being heartfelt but a little fun at the same time. We are a pretty close knit group and almost everyone knows one another.

I was blessed to be able to be home for the beginning of the Fast because I had a doctor's appointment on Monday. On Christmas Eve (of all days!) I was in a car accident and broke my foot. My Christmas break from school was filled with Dr.'s visits, surgery to put a plate in my foot and me, hobbling around on crutches. But I am blessed. My experience has taught me a great deal of humility. I am a pretty independent person, I don't enjoy asking people for help, but this was a time when I needed help and I had to learn to ask for it. It was also humbling for me because it truly showed me that we run on God's schedule and not the other way around. I had so many plans for my break. The accident really made me slow down, think about things and it also made me very excited to return to school. Today I was given the OK from my doctor to kick off my boot and drive my car again, so back to school I went.

Last Friday, I decided that my dorm room was lacking an Icon/Prayer Corner. I have about six Icons or so and I just have them propped up on my desk. I'm fortunate enough to live in a Catholic dorm and we have access to a chapel 24/7, but sometimes, I'm sad to say, it just takes a lot of energy to walk down there at 2am. I also feel a little strange sitting there in this rather large chapel. To me, Eastern Prayers are extremely intimate and I feel most comfortable saying them aloud in an intimate setting, hence the prayer table in my room. I'm quite proud of my little set up. I went to Target and picked up a TV tray ($8.99), a red place mat ($2.89 on sale!) and some "flameless" candles because we aren't allowed to have real candles in the dorm. I set up my icons and my prayer book and voila! instant prayer corner. I've gotten many compliments on it and I have been wondering why it took me 4 years to have one in my room. The picture at the beginning of my post is my prayer/icon table.

The readings for Tuesday are from Isaiah 1:19-2:3, Genesis 1:14-23, and Proverbs 1:20-33. We start with the very beginning of Genesis and work our way through the book during the Fast. In Isaiah we read the lines "Come, let us climb the Lord's mountain, to the house of the God of Jacob, That he may instruct us in his ways, and we may walk in his paths." I really enjoy this line because I think it related particularly well to the Fast. It reminds us all that Lent is a journey.

Wednesday/Thursday of Cheese-fare Week

Since I am writing this so late on Wednesday night, I have decided that it will be a dual post for Wednesday and Thursday. Eastern Christians are now in the midst of Cheese-fare week. This year, both Eastern Orthodox and Catholics are on the same calendar. To anyone who is not Eastern, it must seem like we are obsessed with food. Meat-fare, Cheese-fare, what is up with that? Since last Sunday we are supposed to abstain from eating meat products. This week is the last week we may enjoy dairy products (cheese, milk, butter, eggs, etc.) and so it is called Cheese-Fare. In Russian it is called Maslenitsa. The picture above is a painting by Boris Kustodiev depicting what Maslenitsa looked like circa 1919. It is our last chance to party and have some of the rich foods which we won't be enjoying for awhile.

This is really the first year I am attempting to live out the Fast to the fullest. I haven't had any meat this week. It hasn't been too tough yet, but I know that it is still early. I'm in the "wow this is new and exciting stage and I am going to do my best!" I also live at a dorm that does a reasonably good job with providing vegetarian options to students. I will also admit that it is easier to be meat free when I am only worrying about myself. Back at home, my parents usually don't stick to the strictest form of the fast. They partake of meat and dairy products on days except Wednesday and Friday (which is acceptable). I find when I'm at home that I don't want to impose on my parents. If my mom makes something with meat, I'll usually eat it, just not as much of it. Back to the veggie, options at school... Yesterday we were given the choice of veggie chicken nuggets and today we were given the choice of veggie burgers. I discovered something just a tad "dangerous". I love veggie chicken nuggets. I think I could eat them every day of Lent and it wouldn't bother me. That is the problem. Even though I'm not eating meat, it still doesn't seem like a sacrifice. Veggie burgers on the other hand, are a different story for me. I can't stand them. They were most definitely less than appetizing to me. This felt like a sacrifice.

Our readings for Wednesday come from the book of Joel (Joel 2:12-26). The zinger is at the very beginning "Yet even now, says the LORD, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping and mourning." If this doesn't scream Lenten foreshadowing, I don't know what does. Many of the readings this week are designed to prepare us for the journey of the Fast which lies ahead. The Fast is a lot like running a marathon. You really need to be disciplined in order to pace yourself. Many people (myself included) are often very exuberant when the Fast begins, but get burnt out in the middle and limp weakly to the finish. We even pray during the beautiful presanctified liturgy to "fight the good fight, and finished the course of the Fast."

It is also evident that Lent is coming in the readings for Thursday (Jude: 11-25 and Luke 23:2-34; 44-56). The gospel reading is the trial and crucifixion of Christ. What struck me upon reading this today was how many times Luke mentions "the Women" who followed Christ. Many people who know me know of my great devotion to these women who, being the first witnesses to the resurrection of Christ became the heralds of good news, the "apostles to the Apostles" (whoops, I hope I didn't ruin the Paschal surprise for anyone. Jesus wins in the end.). The women disciples were there from beginning to end. They didn't leave. They didn't chicken out. They stood by the Lord during his most trying time and they were the first to witness his resurrection. To me, the church, in its wisdom has slyly given them to us in today's reading to be our example before we begin the Fast. We need, no we must, do our best to emulate these women. We need to be constant in the fast from beginning to end. We can't chicken out because it is the easy thing to do. We should suffer for Christ, who sacrificed Himself for us, and then we will be the witnesses to his Resurrection.

One of the things I am (hopefully) going to do this Lenten Season is to enhance my mind spiritually. The Fast is a time to increase our prayer life and devotion but I also think it is wise to read "good books" in addition to the "Good book" (ie the Bible). The first book I am starting with is, actually, one I have read twice before. It is my well-thumbed through copy of Facing East by Frederica Mathewes-Green. I first found this book during my first semester of college. I was hopelessly "church-sick" as my mother put it. Being Byzantine Catholic surrounded by hundreds of Roman Catholics in your dorm and thousands of students of many different religions is not an easy thing. It was the first time I had ever been separated from my church. Because an Eastern Christian experiences the Liturgy and services with all of their five senses, it was not always enough for me to just read my prayers. I was a fish out of water.

One day while perusing the local bookstore I found this book which was subtitled "a Pilgrim's Journey Into the Mysteries of Orthodoxy". In this lovely book I found so much of what was familiar to me, the description of the services, talk of icons and incense. It really helped me be reminded of some of the traditions of my faith. Through this, I was able to share this with other people. I decided to start reading it again because it begins with descriptions of the very beginning of the Fast. I would encourage everyone (especially students) to make an attempt to read something, even if only for 15 minutes, that will not only stimulate your intellect but also you faith as well. As a student, I know how hard it can be to find time to read something that will benefit the soul between the biology, chemistry and what passes for literature nowadays. Bring a book to class and read it for just 5 minutes before class starts, listen to a faith based podcast on the bus or while you work out. Even just a few minutes can make all the difference.

Meatfare Sunday

"When You will come to earth in glory, O God, and all creatures will tremble before You, the river of fire will flow before your judgment- seat, and the books will be opened and all hidden things revealed: deliver me from the unquenchable fire and make me worthy to stand at your right hand, O righteous Judge!" (Kontakion)

Is it really Meatfare already?! Of course, the answer is yes. It seems that no matter when this day falls during the year, I always feel like it comes far to early for my liking. Meatfare Sunday, also known as the Sunday of the Last Judgment, is a celebratory day because, come tomorrow, we are to abstain from meat products until Pascha, or Easter Sunday. I found it oddly appropriate that Meatfare Sunday should fall on Super Bowl Sunday this year and consumed all of the wings and sausage pizza I could handle.

I have also been musing on the wisdom of our Church. The Great Fast Starts up next week (Feb. 15th) and we are to also abstain from dairy products from this time onward. No meat and no dairy is a daunting thought and so the church eases us into the process. Abstaining from all meat and dairy is the most traditional and most rigorous form of fasting (which also includes increased prayer and alms giving). There is a less intense form of fasting which a large portion of Eastern Christians adhere to which proscribes fasting from meat and dairy products on Wednesdays and Fridays.

The Great Fast, or Lent as my Latin Brothers and Sisters refer to it, is an intense period of abstinence, prayer and almsgiving. For me, being away from home and from my church, it is something I have found to be a challenge. That is one reason I decided to start my blog again. It is my hope that by keeping a blog I can not only share with others aspects of my Byzantine Catholic faith and heritage, but I believe it will also be a way for me to grow spiritually. I hope to update it a few times a week with some Lenten Hymns, readings for the week and some of my own personal struggles and musings.

Finding God in Finals Week

Finals week has come, and is finally almost done. It is the main reason I have been MIA for a bit. Most final exam periods last for a week but my professors decided to offer some "unofficial exams" that began last Tuesday. So many students struggle so much during finals week so in order to help my friends out I went online to find an uplifting prayer for them. I found this rendition of psalm 23 on a blog called "amongst women".

A PRAYER FOR FINAL EXAMS

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break.
He restoreth my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits
For my grade's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown For Thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me.
All the days of my examination,
And I shall not have to dwell in this university forever,
AMEN

I just thought it was great. Although I had a very long exam period, I was able to take a much needed break and go home for a few days in between some of my exams. Being able to go to my home parish and spend time with my family really allowed me to come back and be refreshed and focused on my exams.

Not all of my exams were bad this year. I was able to turn in a great final TV package about the closing of the Institute of Catholic Thought's School of Theology at the University of Illinois. I also gave a group presentation of the Theology of the Body, one of my favorite topics.

I've been in college for 6 semesters and I think I have come to an interesting realization. The semesters that I have taken a course which allowed me to explore my faith have been some of my happiest semesters and I have gotten the best grades in these classes. The night our group put together our final presentation was the night before it was due. Last minute, I know! Such is college life, it is hard for 3 busy gals to get together sometimes. We worked from 10pm-1:30am making notes and then I went to my room to type them up until 3:30am. To be honest, I wasn't even tired! I was so excited about sharing what we learned with our class that I couldn't sleep. It was like the same rush I feel when I am on the trail of a great journalism story.

I feel so lucky to be able to live in a dorm that has a chapel connected to it. We have access to it 24/7! When residents tell me they are stressed, I tell them to take a time out for themselves. For a lot of them, it means take some time to go pray. I really believe that when you have your spiritual life in line, everything else falls into place. Does this mean that I think that if I go pray before an exam I will get an A? No, it means that I think that taking a 5 minute break to spend time with God will help me focus and put my priorities in order.

I've also found that saying the Jesus Prayer before an exam really helps me calm my nerves. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have mercy on me a sinner."

As much as I have enjoyed this past semester, and the year (despite how absolutely miserable some of my classes were last semester) I am SO ready to go home for a few months. I love spending time with my family, going to my church to tape radio shows and help out, and just enjoying a life that isn't punctuated by papers, projects and midterms (oh my!). I'm also hoping that the summer will provide me with some awesome topics and opportunities to blog about.

So stick around, the best is yet to come.

First Women Journalists

The second Sunday after Easter is one of my favorites. In the Eastern Churches, we call it the "Sunday of the Myrrh Bearing Women". Today we celebrated the women who appeared at the tomb just after Christ rose from the dead. After hearing from the angel that Jesus had risen, they were the first to behold the risen Lord.

This past Easter I spent a lot of time contemplating the Myrrh Bearing Women. Those faithful women who never left Jesus. I think it is interesting that they went to the tomb after the Sabbath anyway. They probably saw the huge stone rolled in front of the tomb. They probably knew that it would be difficult to get a chance to anoint Christ properly, but they went anyway. Why? They went because they loved their teacher and friend so much that they knew they had to at least try.

I also realized how providential it was that these women were the first to see Christ. Women, by their nature, are very receptive. They are receptive both physiologically and psychologically. Everything about women, down to the gross anatomy proves the receptivity of women. How fitting it is that Jesus chose women, the most receptive to be the first to hear the news about His Resurrection. Jesus probably even knew that no woman can keep a great thing secret for long. In this case, he instructed them to take the news to his disciples. In this way, I call the Myrrh Bearing Women the First Women Journalists.

These women hold a special place in my heart. It isn't just because I am an aspiring female journalist but also because the very first time I was on the radio with Fr. Tom was on the Sunday of the Myrrh Bearing Women. I was on with Katie Reidy, also dubbed a Myrrh Bearing Woman, and together we shared our Easter experiences. It was a memorable day for me that helped to shape my future.

I Just Love Happy Endings

I love happy endings, really, I do. I'm a sucker for a good chick flick or a Disney movie. To me, Easter is one of the best happy endings/new beginnings ever. Unfortunately, this year my Easter was marred by something awful. I came back to school on Bright Monday when I received a phone call from my Dad. I thought it was odd because he called right before church was supposed to start on Monday night and he was scheduled to sing. He was at church, he said, and wanted to let me know that one of our Holy Water fonts had been stolen.

Stolen? I thought to myself. Who steals from a church on the day after Easter. Actually, my father said, they don't know if it was stolen on Monday. It could have been stolen on Sunday! I was really filled with anger. Easter was the most joyous day! Our church was full of peace and happiness and then, this happens.

On the one hand, I am so angry that I could scream. My church is truly like a home to me. More importantly, it is the House of God. My mom joked when I went away to school that I wasn't homesick, I was church-sick. Hearing that something that held something as precious as Holy Water was taken from a place that I love just broke my heart. On the other hand, I was deeply saddened, too. I thought about the person who stole it. What caused them to steal it? I don't know their heart, but more than likely, they needed money. It makes me sad to think that they had to steal from a church. I am sure that if they would have knocked on the door of our church, Fr. Tom could have helped them, somehow.

Our church is pretty unique (in many ways) because we leave our church open all day. Anyone can come into pray at anytime. I spoke with Fr. Tom, and I am happy to say that this won't change. Closing our doors would be like letter the Devil win. He wants us to close our doors, he wants this to hurt us and so we cannot let him win. We're hurt but yet we have been praying for those who stole from us.

In the Resurrection Canon we sing "Let us call bretheren, even those who hate us, and in the Resurrection, FORGIVE everything and let us sing: Christ is risen from the dead. By death he conquered Death, and to those in the graves, He granted Life!"

As I alluded to in the beginning, this story has a happy ending. I received an email from my Uncle Bill. In the email was an article that I will post a link to below. Our Holy Water font was found! Basically, it was found in someone's front yard in Midlothian. How it got there, we aren't sure. There is one small mistake in the article. It states that a few weeks ago we had two icons stolen from our church. While this did happen to us, it happened about two years ago during Lent. I'm sure there was just some confusion about dates and such.

Here is the link to the article: http://www.southtownstar.com/neighborhoodstar/orlandpark/1537977,042209churchtheft.article

Christ is Risen! Christos Voskrese!

Sunday Morning- Resurrection Matins and Divine Liturgy

CHRIST IS RISEN! INDEED HE IS RISEN! CHRISTOS VOSKRESE! VOISTINNU VOSKRESE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7uvSrhBAiI

It is easy and difficult for me to fully explain what Resurrection Matins are really like. Fr. Tom and I always joke that we can't tell people what Byzantine services and liturgies are like, they just have to experience it. I think this is because we really experience the liturgy with all of our senses.

During Resurrection Matins, we take on the role of the myrrh bearing women. We have arrived at the tomb to find it empty and find the Risen Lord! The video above is part of the procession (I will try to link it directly on this page but blogger was taking forever!). We sing "Your resurrection O Christ our Savior, the angels in heaven praise with hymns. Make us on earth also worthy with a pure heart, to extol and give glory to you." When the priest reaches the entrance of the church (remember, during this weekend, the Church takes on the appearance of the tomb!) he reads the resurrection gospel and then he sings:

"Let God Arise and let his enemies be scattered and let those who hate him flee from before his face!"

We sing: "Christ is Risen from the dead! By death he conquered death! And to those in the graves he granted Life"

Priest: As smoke vanishes, so let them vanish as wax melts before a fire.

Us: Christ is Risen!...

Priest: So let the wicked perish at the presence of God! And let the righteous ones rejoice!

Us: Christ is Risen!...

Priest: This is the day that the Lord has made, let us exult and rejoice in it!

Us: Christ is Risen!



Priest (Breaking the "seal" of the tomb with a hand cross): Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever, Amen.

Us: CHRIST IS RISEN FROM THE DEAD! BY DEATH HE CONQUERED DEATH AND TO THOSE IN THE GRAVES, HE GRANTED LIFE!

The Doors are flung open and we find a large icon of the resurrection in the place of the shroud. All of the red altar coverings have been changed to white (by the altar cloth fairies aka some faithful women).



Everything is fast paced from hear. The melody of Matins sounds like you are running because you ARE running. We ARE the myrrh bearing women. We HAVE seen the risen Lord. What would you do? Sit around and be like "well that was neat, want to get some coffee?" NO! You would run as fast as you could to tell everyone.

The deacons are almost constantly incensing the church proclaiming "Christ is Risen!" or Christos Voskrese (Christ is Risen in Old Church Slovanic) to which we respond "Indeed He is Risen!" or "Voistinnu Voskrese!".

During Matins, we also sing one of my favorite hymns to the Theotokos, or Mother of God.

"The angel exclaimed to her, full of grace! Rejoice O Pure Virgin! Again, I say Rejoice! Your Son is risen from the grave on the third day, and has raised the dead! Let all nations rejoice: Shine in splendor O new Jerusalem, for the Glory of the Lord is risen upon you O Sion. Since with joy and rejoice! And you, Pure Mother of God, Rejoice in the Resurrection of your Son!"

During Matins all of the faithful process up to kiss a hand cross, a gospel book and an icon of the resurrection. Everyone is singing loudly and joyfully!

I think all of Matins is my favorite part, but I especially love when the priest reads the Easter Sermon by St. John Chrysostom. The zinger comes at the end where the saint-rightly dubbed "golden tongue"- says: "O death, where is your sting; Abyss, where is your victory? Christ is risen, and you are cast down; Christ is risen, and the demons are crushed; Christ is risen, and the angels sing for joy; Christ is risen, and life had overcome; Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of the dead: for Christ the Resurrection has become the first-fruits of the dead. To Him be glory and power for ever and ever. Amen!"

Wow. Just let all of that sink in for a minute. Fr. Joe (Fr. Tom's cousin) read this with such enthusiasm and emphasis that it was really powerful. We who have journeyed with Christ can't help but smile. Because we walked with him at every step of the way, being able to say Christ is Risen means something very special to us. Everything we did, everything we experienced was preparing us for this moment, so that we could truly sing out that Christ is Risen! We were baptized into his death and we rejoice in his resurrection!

Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen! Christos Voskrese! Voistinnu Voskrese!

Saturday Night- Vespers with the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil

"Today Hades sighs and cried out: 'I should never have received the One Who was born of Mary; for He came against me and destroyed my power and crushed my gates of bronze. Being God, He raised the souls which I once held." Glory to your cross and resurrection, O Lord!"

This is just one of the stichera which we sing on Holy Saturday evening. A stichera is basically a way of singing what we believe.

Like our Roman Catholic bretheren, we also baptize catechumens on Holy Saturday. This year, we baptized a young girl. It was so precious because she was old enough to recite her own Baptism vows. Before the actual baptism, the priests asks her if she renounces Satan and if she has committed herself to Christ. When she answers "Yes, I do renounce him!" and "Yes, I HAVE committed myself to Christ!" it was just so meaningful and heartfelt.

During the Vespers we have two very long Old Testament readings. My favorite is the story from the book of Daniel (Daniel 3:1-51) about the three youths who were thrown into the firery furnace: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The three refused to worship the golden statue which King Nebechadnezzar (say THAT five times fast) set up. Although they were cast into the white hot furnance they were not burned! Instead, the angel of the Lord came into the furnace and made the inside "as though a dew-laden breeze were blowing through it" and the three of them sang praises to God.

During the Liturgy of St. Basil we sing "All you who have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ! Alleluia!" instead of the Trisagion or Thrice Holy Hymn. This echos the epistle reading from Romans 6:3-11. St. Paul writes that "A man who is dead has been freed from sin. If we have died with Christ, we believe that we are also to live with him. We know that Christ, once raised from the dead, will never die again; death has no more power over him. His death was death to sin, once for all; his life is life for God. In the same way, you must consider youselves dead to sin but alive for God in Christ Jesus."

Finally, we read the account of the Resurrection according to St. Matthew. Christ has risen from the dead. We can sing this from the rooftops, right? Not exactly. During this liturgy we don't take on the role of a particular person. No one knows that Christ is Risen yet because we haven't found out about it yet. Can you imagine witnessing such an event? We would probably we blinded by the glory and magnificence of it all! Christ is risen but the story isn't over yet. Many people who attend Vespers and Liturgy on Saturday night come back on Sunday morning to hear the rest of the story.

Yum-O! Since technically, Christ has risen, we can bless the Easter baskets. I wish the internet had a scratch and sniff screen because the smell in our vestibule was A-Mazing. Ham, sausage (sorry if your a vegetarian but you don't know what you are missing), cheese, butter, sweets mingled with the sweet smelling incense and filled the air.

On the way home my sister and I are starving. We both decided that sleep was more important than eating dinner so we decided to stop off at Steak'n'Shake. I had given up meat for lent and my sister had been following the fast for percription for Good Friday (no meat or dairy) and Holy Saturday (no meat) so we were ready for meat. My sister isn't a huge burger eater but we both ordered burgers and dug in. Let me tell you my friends, a greasy burger never tasted so good ;)

When we go home I can hardly sleep because I am so filled with excitement and anticipation for Pascha!

Holy Saturday- Jerusalem Matins

On Saturday morning, my aunt and I get up to go to the Jerusalem Matins service. This year (because of the revised liturgy and revised EVERYTHING, don't get me started) the service lasted about 2 hours. During this service we commemorate the Harrowing of Hell or Christ's descent into Hades to free the souls from Satan's clutches. We take the burial shroud and process with it around the church singing the Trisagion, or "Thrice Holy Hymn" three time. We sing "Holy God, Holy and might, Holy and Immortal. Have mercy on us." This is sung in the funeral melody to remind us of Christ's death the previous day. "This symbolizes Christ's movement through hell anticipating the moment when he will conquer Satan's power of death by rising out of hell and taking all humanity with him" (taken from my church bulletin this year).

The famous "dry bones" passage from Ezekiel is read during Jerusalem Matins. In Ezekiel 37:11-14 it reads: "Then he said to me: Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They have been saying, 'Our bones are dried up, our hope is lost, and we are cut off!' Therefore, prophesy and say to them: Thus says the Lord God: O my people, I will open your graves and have you rise from them, and bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and have you rise from them, O my people! I will put my spirit in you that you may live, and I will settle you upon your land; thus you shall know that I am the Lord. I have promised and I will do it says the Lord."

Our services during Great Week are filled with readings from the prophets that foreshadowed the suffering, death, and resurrection of the Lord. We read especially from Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel and we hear about the trial of Job as well.

After Jerusalem Matins, I am sent on a special mission. I like to call it "Project Easter Basket". Every year the Teens make Easter baskets for members of our parish. The parishioners bring back the baskets but we have to buy new candles and coverings for them every year. That is where I come in. Since not many of the other Teens have their own means of transportation I head out in search of the candles and coverings. Last year I hit the mother load at Home Goods. I found the perfect napkins to use as coverings and they had candles! I was back and forth in a half and hour. This year, I was not so lucky. I found the LAST package of plain (aka boring) white napkins but NO candles, not even cream ones. No biggie, I would just head to Target which is right next door. How on earth Target was out of candles, I will never know, but they were. I headed to three other stores before finding them at Walgreens (of all places) and for really cheap too! I head back to church with my finds and food coloring for the Easter eggs.

I dropped them off and headed home for a much needed nap. I needed to gear up for Vespers with Diving Liturgy later that night! I almost feel like I can justify taking a nap because we believe that even Jesus kept the old Sabbath before rising from the Grave on Sunday.

Guarding the Grave

I'm tired, really tired when I leave church after vespers. As long as I keep moving, I can usually take my mind off of the fact that I've been up for almost 40 hours. My Aunt Maria and I take my Grandpa home after Vespers and then go to Homecut donuts in Joliet. We have made it a tradition of sorts to always pick up a dozen donuts and leave them at church when we go to guard the grave. We still have a couple of hours to go once we get back to her house so we decided to watch The Passion of the Christ. After almost a half an hour of wrestling with remote controls and dvd players we finally get it started but don't manage to finish it. Whether or not you like Mel Gibson, you have to admit that this is a moving film. I've heard arguments that it is just a gruesome, bloody film. Guess what, that's being Christ was murdered in the most gruesome and bloody way. That is what happened, no sugarcoating. It's not an enjoying thing to watch, that's why I usually only watch it once a year. I remember the first time I saw the Passion. Our Teen group went and my friend Katie and I cried so hard at some points that one of my contact lenses fell out which made reading the subtitles difficult.

At about 11:30 we leave for church again and pick up a family friend of ours, Marilyn, along the way. When we get to church we meet up with my aunt's friend Jean and the four of us keep watch over the grave just like I'm sure the women who followed Christ did nearly 2,000 years ago. My eyes are desperately fighting to stay open in the dimly lit church. I try to pray an Acathist to Christ in order to keep myself awake. It seems like the older I get, the fast the hour passes on and before long, our replacements, my Uncle Bill and Marilyn's husband John, show up. They have some different plans of how they will spend their hour. They decided to try and fix the trojca, or 3 pronged candle, which has been falling apart with some gold braiding.

When we get back to my aunt's house it is nearly 2am. I have been awake for 43 hours but I know that whatever exhaustion I feel must still not even touch that of what the women who followed Christ felt. I change into my pj's and try to get some rest.

Great Friday-Vespers with Procession & the Guarding of the Grave

On Great Friday evening we have a vespers service that is very similar to a funeral service. At this point, Christ has already died. We take on the role of Joseph of Arimathea and the women who were with him.

During the service Fr Tom takes the

plaschanitza, or burial shroud from the altar and a procession, led by the altar servers and deacons, begins. The lights are all turned off in church and the faithful are given candles to carry. Normally, we will process outside around the church. This year, however, it was very windy and chilly so Fr. Tom decided to stay inside. When I first heard Fr. Tom say this I was really disappointed but, then, I got over it. The atmosphere inside of the church was almost eerie. I was so moved that I felt it would inappropriate to take pictures. The one above is from last year. Just picture this: You are in a darkened church, there is incense filling the air around you, giving the church a smoky, foggy feel, the funeral procession is winding its way through the crowd of people gathered in the church. We have a large area in church where people can stand instead of sitting and they part, like the Red Sea as Fr. Tom carries the body of Christ to his tomb. All this time, the cantor is leading the congregation in singing a hymn :"The noble Joseph, took down from the cross Your most pure body. Anointing it with spices, he wrapped it in pure linen and laid it in burial in a new tomb." We sing this over and over again until the procession ends and Fr. Tom places the shroud on the tomb.

At this point, the priest usually gives a homily. On Great Friday this year, Fr. Tom's cousin, Fr. Joe Loya (a Byzantine priest who teaches at Villanova) gives the homily. He told a story about a young rabbi's son who would always go into the forest to pray. Everyday, he would go deeper and deeper in the forest until, one day, his father loses sight of him. He calls out to the boy and, when he finds him, he chastises him and asks him why he has to go so far into the forest to pray. The boy says that he experiences God differently there. The rabbi calls him a fool, "don't you know that God is the same everywhere?" he asks. "Yes Father, I know God is the same everywhere, but I am different when I am there. I experience God in ways I don't experience him anywhere else."

Those words struck me so much because that is exactly how I feel every year when I come home to church for Holy Week. I could stay at school. I could be anywhere else, but I don't think I could ever get the same experience anywhere else. Fr. Tom and I were talking one day while taping the radio show and he even told me that he had been to the Holy Land during Great Week and still did not experience Christ's Passion the way he does when he is at home at our parish.

Once the homily is over, the faithful, come up to venerate the shroud, shuffling up there on our knees. We kiss the wounds of Christ while the cantor sings a couple of songs. One song is "Having suffered the passion for us, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy, have mercy, have mercy on us." He also sang "Now do I go to the cross. No where else, shall I find you, Jesus Lord,Peace of my soul. There shall I find, the Mother of God, sorrow and pain, piercing her heart. Sorrow now is all I feel."

Great Friday-Royal Hours

On Great Friday, at noon we have a service called Royal Hours. This service can last up to three hours, but we usually only do part of the service. It is celebrating during the time when Christ hung upon the cross, from 12pm-3pm. It is called "Royal Hours" because long ago, in Byzantium, this is the time when the Emperor would attend the service as a sign of his own repentance.

After this service, the Teens usually have quiet prayer and reflection time with confession. One of the things that have been provided for us to read in a packet is a scientific description of what happens when someone is crucified. Many people believe that one dies from a loss of blood. Actually, a person who is crucified dies from asphyxiation. Those who are crucified must pull their bodies up while hanging on the cross in order to take a breath. This is why the legs of the robbers crucified with Jesus were broken, so they would die faster. Because Jesus was already dead, his legs were not broken. This fulfilled what was said through the scriptures "not a bone of it will be broken". Instead the guard pierced Christ's side with a lance and blood and water flowed forth. This also fulfilled what was said in the scriptures "They will look upon him whom they have pieced".

Sometime in the afternoon I leave to go home and get ready for dinner with my family at night. We have a meal of pirohi (or pierogies) and bread. It may be a fasting meal but it is delicious nevertheless. After dinner we all get ready for the vespers service later that night.

Great Friday- The Twelve Gospels

On Great Friday Morning (Holy Thursday evening in some other churches) the Eastern Church has a special Matins service called the Twelve Gospels. Over the course of about two hours, the priest and deacon read twelve gospel readings depicting the passion of Christ, from his arrest in Gethsemane, to his trial before Pilate to his crucifixion and death.

This is a picture of my grandpa, one of our ushers, holding the candle which is held every time a gospel is read in our church. The first of the gospel readings is the longest, it clocks in at about 17 minutes and they get progressively shorter after that. During this service we sing "Glory be to you Passion O Lord" and "Glory Be to you long suffering O Lord". I think this is the best way to read the Passion of Christ. Reading it all together really helps one visualize what he went through for us.

After the reading of the Twelve Gospels, we eat a light breakfast and get to work. One of the great Easter or Pascha traditions in the East is to bring Easter baskets to be blessed on Saturday night or Sunday morning, filled with all of the food we have been fasting from: meat (especially ham and sausage), eggs, cheese, some bread, butter, etc. Because we have many families at our church who have converted to the Byzantine Rite and we have many older parishioners, the Teens take orders and make Easter baskets. During this time, we also do little tasks around church like re-organizing our library and scraping wax from the candles off of the floor in the sanctuary before mopping it and hand drying it.

Great Thursday- Great Friday

Great Thursday night into Great Friday is one of my favorite times of Holy Week. After the Divine Liturgy, our ByzanTEEN Pascha retreat begins. We (the Teens and Young Adults) will spend most of the weekend at church praying, cleaning, making Easter Baskets for our parishioners and giving tours. On Holy Thursday night we get a large number of visitors from Roman Catholic churches coming to our church to pray. They spend the evening on Holy Thursday travelling to different parishes in the area. Because our parish is so unique, many of the faithful who come to visit us want a mini tour. The Roman Catholic parishes have Eucharistic Adoration on this night but we do not for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that Eucharistic Adoration is not a practiced tradition in the Eastern Churches. The Eastern churches never really experienced any controversies over the Eucharist like the West did. Because of the controversies that arose in the West, the beautiful practice of Eucharistic Adoration came about in order to show Christ to the people. Since this never occurred in the East, we don't have this practice. There is also a practical reason why Eucharistic adoration is not practiced in the East, our bread is leavened bread. We do not use a host. Our priest takes a small loaf of bread and cuts it into small cubes and places it into a chalice and then pours the Blood of Christ over the Body. Eucharist is placed into the recipients mouth via a spoon. The leavened bread would make it difficult to be placed into a monstrance. While we do not display the Eucharist, it is ever present in the tabernacle that sits upon the altar which is not easily seen because of the iconostasis or icon screen. The iconostasis serves a boundary between the Sanctuary, the Holy of Holies and the nave fo the church. There are four doors on the icon screen: the two side doors are known as Deacon Doors, anyone can pass through these doors during the liturgy; the two middle doors are known as the Royal Doors. Only the priest and deacon may pass through these doors and only at three times during the liturgy: when they are blessing the peopel, when they are carrying the gospel book and when they are holding the Eucharist. The icon screen also adds a mystical sense to our liturgy. It is a physical representation of what we believe. God has revealed some things to us while others still remain a mystery.

One thing that everyone notices when they walk into our church is that it is covered in icons like this one of Pentecost. Icons are literally Theology in color. They were used from the early days of the church as a way to teach those who could neither read nor write about their faith. We are blessed at Annunciation parish because Fr. Tom painted all of our icons (and he isn't done yet). Many of the icons must be painted a certain way. There are rules that the writer (not painter) of an icon must follow. However, with some saints and apostles there is a little bit of leeway with colors. The apostle in the middle of this icon is my favorite. When Fr. Tom began to paint it I asked him if he would paint one of them Orange and Blue (the school colors of the University of Illinois! Go ILLINI!) and he was more than happy to oblige.

After the tour groups have left, we start to prepare our church for the weekend. This includes helping our florist set up the flowers and setting up our tomb. The tomb sort of looks like a desk but on Great Friday Fr. Tom will place the plaschanitza or shroud on it and we will venerate it.

Great Friday-12am- Reading of the Psalms


At midnight the teens begin to chant the psalms. It is something we have done for at least three years. This year, we started out with 10: Cherie, Adam, Tim, Blaise, Krystal, Kelli, DeAnna, Lexie, Marijana, and myself. This is more than we have had in the past. Half of us have already gone to bed and I can't blame them.

I am crazy to stay up and do this but I can't help but hear the words of Christ in the gospel "will none of you stay awake with me?" running through my head. It is at this time that I feel like a small group of us really take on the role of the women followers of Christ. Traditionally, the Eastern church teaches that the apostles, save for John, all ran away, but the women were the ones who followed Jesus at a distant to his trial and death.
The tradition of reading the psalms is usually done in the monasteries, but I think this is the best way to spend the night. This is a small thing that we can do for Christ, who did so much for us. We may not sing in perfect pitch, we slip up on "thee" "thou" and "hast" and our voices grow hoarse, but it is worth it. About half way through we take a break from the psalms to sing an Acathist to the Mother of God. This is like the Byzantine equivalent to the Rosary. It helps to break up the monotony and offer praise to the God-bearer and Theotokos. After the Acathist. our number drops to three and then to just Cherie and myself. We are the oldest (both 21) and have stayed up through all of it for the past two years. It is dark and cold in the church. The floor is cold and we alternate sitting and standing to relieve our aching feet and backs. At about 5am the lights in church turn on and Fr. Tom comes in to work on the rest of the Pentecost icon. As he paints we continue to chant the psalms. He later told us that it was one of the most amazing things, to be painting and listening to people chant the psalms. At 6:20 am we sing psalm 150 a little louder and more exuberantly than we have been singing because we are finally dine. Cherie and I hug, knowing that we have kept each other awake.
We only have an hour and a half until the first of three of the Great Friday services begin. We freshen up and change clothes before getting some coffee (Black! Because we fast from meat and dairy on Great Friday) and waking the rest of the Teens.

Great Thursday- April 9, 2009

Being at home finally makes Holy Week seem more real. I was able to attend Bridegroom Matins this morning. We focus a lot on Judas during this service, noting his betrayal of Christ that will take place later that night. Greed led Judas to betray Christ. He was too concerned with earthly cares and possessions. He became consumed by his obsession with money and, besides turning the Savior of the world over to the lawless ones, he also furthered his own self-destruction. This morning we sang "Love for money led a man to take his own life." In a way, I really feel sorry for Judas. He was one of the people closest to Christ but he really never grasped what Jesus taught. Had he fully understood the teaching of Christ, he would have realized that, even though he did something that was horrible, Christ would have forgiven him because he is a merciful and gracious God.

Thursday night, we celebrated Vespers (an evening prayer service) with the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil the Great. We commemorate Christ instituting the Holy Eucharist. Imagine what it would have been like to be a part of that first Eucharist. Imagine you are Judas and while the consecrated bread is still in your mouth you are making plans to betray your friend, your Savior.

In our Cathedral in Parma, Ohio, our Bishop will wash and kiss the feet of twelve priests. He will also consecrate the Chrism oil used for Confirmation and will bless the antimensions. An antimension is a cloth with the relic of a saint sewn into it. It must always sit atop the Altar of Sacrifice in every Divine Liturgy. This custom began in the early days of the church when the Christians would celebrate the liturgy in the catacombs.

This is a picture of our priest, Fr. Thomas Loya, distributing the Holy Eucharist to an altar server.